Joe Coscarelli

Women Do Things That Men Don’t Do, or Do Better Than Women

by Joe Coscarelli

One time, not too long ago, I saw a few people do a thing. They were almost like me, except they had nicer shoes. And this thing they were doing was something that a lot of people do, but it was different because it meant something larger, because it was happening in New York City and they were women.

A few days later, I saw another woman doing the same thing, but I wasn’t doing it, so I wondered how all women could do such a thing.

So I pitched a trend piece on the thing, because writing is hard and I have a lot of female friends who do the same things.

Another time, I met another person, and she was more like the original group of people, because she had breasts, too, plus she could see why those girls were doing that thing they were doing, which seemed so unfathomable to me, becauase I would never do that thing that women do.

It’s a normal thing, she said, and there are a lot of explanations for doing things, and if you’re a woman, they all make sense.

One time, this very woman, who understood all the other women, because she was a woman, had even done a thing that others were doing. She couldn’t help it because she’s a woman. And if you live in Manhattan, you do things that sophisticated women do because you all watch the same shows on television, where women do these things. It’s simple, really, if you’re a woman.

Even famous women do things that other women do, because in New York City, everyone is almost famous. But they do it differenly than the other women, because they have more money and less shame, but the same thoughts and emotions.

Women also do things when they’re in other public places that people go to in New York City.

Men don’t do that many things. And they don’t notice women doing things that they don’t do.

Young women do things, especially this thing, with even wilder abandon than older women because they haven’t lived in Manhattan for as long as other women, but sometimes it works out for them.

Women are endearing.

Other people besides me have seen women doing this thing and other things. They agree: women are not men. They do things differently.

I think women are not men, said the expert who agrees with me, even though she is a woman.

Experts make things like this thing, which make some sense, make more sense.

But don’t think that all women who do the same things are the same women or do things in the same exact way. Women are varied, but not as much as men.

Some women do things to challenge me, which is silly. They’ve seen too many movies or episodes of television or they’re lying.

One of my friends, who is famous, always does things that other women do. I just do, she said.

But she can’t stand it when other women do, because they’re not as famous. But, on the other hand, they should do the things I do, she said.

Some women are so annoyed by other women, because women are annoying, even to women.

Women are annoying, said a woman on the verge of fame. Women should be better, she said.

Women only want attention, said a woman.

Someone who doesn’t live in New York says New York is different because women are annoying, but they’re more annoying in New York.

Don’t talk to women who are annoying.

Famous people say wise things about things and women.

Here’s a famous story about a famous man who is better than women, because when he does things they matter, because he’s a man and famous.

Women are so predictable, and they all look the same, here, in New York, where I live. But sometimes women are unpredictable.