“When [Blender], referring to the set of encyclopedias Wayne allegedly keeps on his bus, asks if he ever just reads about a random topic, the rapper replies, “No, I’m a millionaire.” … “Are you a millionaire? No. So don’t tell me what millionaires do.” —Lil Wayne, 2008
“Are any of you multi-millionaires? I highly doubt it! Because I’m loaded! Millionaires do things less desperately than average folks like you. … I have so much money that I’m giddy all day, every day.” —Amanda Bynes, 2013
Dangeruss’s Florida roots and physical presence aside, James Franco refusing to acknowledge Riff Raff as an influence on his Spring Breaker’s character is a lie by omission. (Of course, by doing so, Franco is also refusing to play into Riff’s aggressive self-promotion and truth-blurring; too close to home, maybe.) But the movie’s “Look At My Shit” monologue — “American Dream,” “I Got Shorts,” whatever we eventually decide on calling it — is “RiFF RaFF - iN BRaZiL BaD BiTCH STRiPPER” with a fancy camera.
During a Q&A in Queens last week, Harmony Korine mentioned sending Franco clips from rap and “fight video websites” as inspiration for his character, Alien. He meant WorldStarHipHop. Riff Raff has a WorldStar tattoo, a picture of which is still saved on my phone from this:
Anyway, when the movie leaks online, someone with the video editing skills and free time should splice the two scenes together. Here’s a rough script (Franco via Vulture) with Riff’s original in italics:
This is the fuckin’ American dream. This is my fuckin’ dream, y’all! All this sheeyit! Look at my sheeyit!
This that real custom shit!
I got … I got SHORTS! Every fuckin’ color.
You see the ice … You been seein’ the ice.
I got designer T-shirts!
I got gold bullets. Motherfuckin’ VAM-pires.
Stupid jack-o-lantern Michael Meyers chain. Hello, Halloween.
I got Scarface. On repeat. SCARFACE ON REPEAT. Constant, y’all!
Stupid flatscreens. Dumb shit. Retarded shortbus shit.
I got Escape! Calvin Klein Escape! Mix it up with Calvin Klein Be. Smell nice? I SMELL NICE! Everything.
Check out the piggly-wigglys fresh, imported from Brazil.
That ain’t a fuckin’ bed; that’s a fuckin’ art piece. My fuckin’ spaceship! U.S.S. Enterprise on this shit. I go to different planets on this motherfucker! Me and my fuckin’ Franklins here, we take off. TAKE OFF!
Merry Christmas. This 10K. Do I gotta show you? Do I gotta show you? This ain’t middle of the mall shit. This ain’t middle of the mall shit.
Look at my shit. Look at my shit! I got my blue Kool-Aid.
Been had this. We been had this! This chandelier … bought this from Mike Tyson and them before they sold they shit to 50 Cent.
I got my fuckin’ NUN-CHUCKS.
Just got a new fly swatter from East Japan.
I got shurikens; I got different flavors.
I stay with some seasoning sauce. Stay on top of pork chops … Tony Sherarigans. I been staying with Tony Sherarigans.
I got them sais. Look at that shit, I got sais. I got blades!
Stripper pole been about to go up. Three-stories … all the way to the rooftop.
Look at my sheeyit! This ain’t nuttin’, I got ROOMS of this shit!
Refrigerator stay empty ‘cause I eat good!
I got my dark tannin’ oil … lay out by the pool, put on my dark tanning oil.
Ice in my ear gave me brain freeze. Ice in my ear gave me brain freeze … Stay with ice packs on my wrist. Dumb ice packs on my wrist.
I got machine guns … Look at this, look at this motherfucker here! Look at this motherfucker! Huh? A fucking army up in this shit!
Open my shit up with this. I been opening my shit up with Gucci can trap opener. Can trap opener. Yes, it can, and yes, I will open your ass up with a can trap opener. Cut that. And we outta here.
Ten years ago, as a 14-year-old high school freshman, I spent spring break visiting my cousin at American University in D.C., protesting with her radical friends (drum circle) and watching the war start on a dorm room floor. I learned about politics and bands that would define the rest of my teens, and also that it wasn’t either/or when it came to the weird white suburban divide between pop/rap and punk/rock. It was the first time I can remember realizing that people wore thrifted t-shirts ironically (purple, Billy Ray Cyrus) and ate tofu instead of meat as a statement. I didn’t go to any parties or drink; everyone seemed really upset and took themselves pretty seriously. When I got back to Florida, I tried to explain to my (mostly pro-war) journalism class what I’d learned about George W. Bush, but I got choked up and almost cried because I hadn’t yet figured out how to articulate myself.